Saturday, July 31, 2010

Memories...

by Hugh Eaton

Next Friday, August 6th, will be my 78Th birthday. The typical line you hear from senior citizens is "where did all those years go to", and I'm afraid I'm one of them. You blink your eyes a few times and all of a sudden you are looking in the mirror and asking, "Where did that young fellow go who used to look back at me when I was shaving?"

But there are many blessings which come with aging. First, you've had a long time to deepen your appreciation of all the blessings and gifts the Lord has showered upon us despite our unworthiness. "What is man that He is mindful of him?" So every morning when you wake up, see a beautiful Colorado sunrise, smell the coffee and gaze at that wonderful soul mate lying beside you, you are thankful and humble for the Lord's blessings. You ask yourself, "What did I do to deserve this?" and no answer comes except He chose my steps before the world even began. You truly believe it when you say, "This is the day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it."

God has enabled us to spend many years, twenty-four in our case, with your soul mate - someone, which time has taught you is the other half of you and actually the best half of you. In Atlanta in the 1980s God led me to a young lady named Diana Lynn (Dee Dee) Bennett. I met her teaching a singles Sunday school class, although she tells everyone we met in a bar. My first marriage was broken and the last thing I was looking for was a serious relationship. God had other plans, as He often does. They say, "If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans for tomorrow".

I am twenty-four years older than Dee Dee, so I couldn't quite grasp God's plans for us until we took some long walks by the Chattahoochee River in Atlanta. It became pretty clear to me her deepest desire was to become a Christian, but she hadn't grown up in a Christian home. She had a brief marriage which ended in divorce, and she had turned to the church for some answers.

One Saturday she had invited me to have lunch with her at her condo. It was one of those beautiful spring days Atlanta is famous for and she had set up lunch on her deck. After we were seated she picked up her fork and then noticed I was looking at her quizzically. I said, "Aren't we going to say a blessing?" Talk about a "deer in the headlights look". I quickly realized she was not used to praying out loud, so I gave thanks. Looking back now, I think that was the moment God revealed His plans to me. He wanted me to be her Paraclete, that is, to come alongside her and be an encourager as she progressed on her Christian walk. I also think that was the moment I realized I was in love with her.

It was an interesting courtship for a number of reasons, one being the age difference. She had been dating a couple of fellows in the Sunday school class who were her age, and, of course, they couldn't understand at all why she was attracted to me. (If I hadn't had some insight from God, it would have been hard for me to understand also.) As we shopped in the mall, we held hands and we got some of the meanest looks from older women. I surmised maybe they were afraid their husbands were going to "trade them in" for a younger model.

Dee Dee was friends with a married couple named Bill and Jennifer. She had gone to Georgia Tech with them and remained close after graduation. When Dee Dee began to realize our relationship might be more than a little serious, she insisted we should go to dinner with Bill and Jennifer. We had a pleasant dinner and later as I thought about the conversation it dawned on me I had been up for inspection. I'm pretty sure if Bill and Jennifer had done a "thumbs down" that would have been the end of the relationship. But I suppose the innate "Virginia Gentleman" charm won them over, and we became friends.

Our courtship progressed, and I am sure we both wrestled individually with issues like "do I really want to combine my checking and savings account with hers?" and for her "Do I want to keep my name or change it to Eaton?" - things like that. I thought the name change was going to be a real bump in the road, but one night as we were stopped at a red light on the way home from a movie, out of the blue, she said "I'll change my name". I told her I really appreciated her decision and didn't think she would regret it.

Time went on and finally one night at the Cinnabar Restaurant at the Galleria Mall in northwest Atlanta I proposed. We had eaten there several times and had a favorite table up front next to the window. She grinned and blushed and I slipped a sapphire engagement ring on her finger which is still there today.

Later I told her I would like to get married in two weeks and she gasped and looked at me like I was crazy. She said no way could we get everything done in two weeks, and I told her we both had done the drill before so it wasn't much of a learning curve. We went back and forth and I finally realized this could be a "deal buster", so I backed off.

Two months later, November 8, 1986, we were married in the chapel of the Sandy Springs United Methodist Church in Atlanta by Rev. Al Clark. Jennifer was Dee Dee's matron of honor and Col. E. Howard (Ham) Hammersley, Jr., a old friend from my Roanoke newspaper days and Chief Photographer of the paper, was my best man. I was pleased more than I can tell you that my daughter, Lee Ann, and my two sons, Mitch and Steve, were in the wedding.

We had planned on a honeymoon in the California wine country, but Dee Dee's dad got the shingles and her parents couldn't make the trip from Colorado Springs to the wedding. So we flew to the Springs, visited with her parents for a day and then spent a week at the Valhalla near the entrance of Rocky Mountain National Park. We were the only ones renting a cabin at the Valhalla since, even though it was just November, the snow was up to hour knees. The owner had put out some salt licks for the deer who were our only company.

It was a memorable week, but different as honeymoons go. With gaiters on we hike in deep snow to Bear Lake on the first day and had a great time, then Dee Dee came down with altitude sickness plus recouping from all the stress of preparing and going through with the wedding. So I sat on the couch in the cabin while she lay beside me the rest of the week. We couldn't even build a fire in the fireplace because the chimney was plugged. We both were grateful to leave the altitude and get back to Atlanta. So much for the storybook honeymoon, but we made up for it with vacations to the panhandle beaches of Florida - pretty close to heaven.

There's more to ponder, but we'll save that for "Memories #2".

Copyright 2010 Hugh Eaton